"Cut everything that doesn't advance the plot" no. I'm gonna write more stuff that doesn't advance the plot
#NO PLOT. ONLY LORE.

Ah, Victor Hugo and J R R Tolkien, how lovely to see you here on tumblr.com.
motion capture actress 曦曦鱼sakana shows how to move in games
Writing popular posts on tumblr is easy watch this
“Nasty Hot Transgender Sex, Jesus style”


give it up for men whimpering
Dildo Generator
Online 3D experiment by Ikaros Kappler which is described as a “Extrusion/Revolution Generator” ….
Created with three.js, you can alter the bezier curves and angle of the form, and is designed with 3D printing in mind (models can be exported and saved, as well as calculated weight in silicone).
Try it out for yourself (if you wish) here
the time is now
not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls
cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through
i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises
of course this is the post where tumblr is like “Seems sfw to me!”

My laugh at this post is auditory evidence of just how sick I still am.

I’d usually post this to my NSFW blog but this is making me laugh so unreasonably hard that I can’t fucking breathe and therefore deserves to be on my main blog

How you gonna do us like that bruh???
ITS BACK

i guess this is the long post all the gays are collectively reblogging today huh
Idk how to work it on mobile which makes me sad
This this fucking terrible thing just killed me
I was just scrolling and my friend asked why I was dying and i just had shown them this.
They are scared of me i think
The one time the internet is expected to make dicks, the internet immediately makes everything except dicks.
girl help! the popular fanon interpretation of my favorite character is stupid as fuck
OMG????!!!!!!
when you are done with a tab you can close it. every browser in the world has a feature that lets you open recently closed tabs. also there is browsing history. need to visit a webpage often? may i introduce you to the bookmarks feature. there’s no reason to leave your tabs open. hoarder behavior.

OP I’m hitting you with a shovel

Anyway tag this with however many browser tabs you currently have. I have 40.
Thanks in part to you I now have a comprehensive categorization of types of people based on number of tabs they have open:
1-9: Kindred spirit. I am kissing you on the mouth
~10-25: Normal. This is more tabs than I would have open in most situations but it is not an unreasonable number.
~26-70: Woah there, partner. I don’t agree with this lifestyle but I understand it is normal for many people. Are you sure you need that many open though? Right at this very moment? Surely you can prune a few here.
~71-99: Okay calm down. You definitely don’t need that many open. When’s the last time you actually opened half of these, really?
100+: Official freak. This is too many. There’s no way you even remember which ones you have open. How are you supposed to find any of them?
1000+: Listen, I know I made a joke up there, I said “hoarder behavior,” but I think you may actually have a problem. With your browser tabs. You might as well have a maze of 50-year-old newspapers to navigate through to get to a youtube video. It’s time to re-evaluate the way you use the internet. I’m serious on this one.

1. this should be required viewing for anyone writing young girls, especially sisters
2. she did a good job and totally saved their asses.
they really brought david tenant’s son in and said hey do you want to play a gay little boy in good omens 2. just a little camp mf. nepotism done right.
#also pete davidson ie. david’s father in law was job??? #had me cracking up
#they brought this kid in and said hey flirt with your dad's co-star #and he said ok bet
#that finger brush to aziraphale's chest. quite literally he came he served cunt and committed to the bit #WAIT it's even funnier bc apparently david didn't know he auditioned for good omens in this role. #he auditioned and went on the set and said. im about to be hilarious
#making hearteyes at michael sheen is apparently a dominant genetic trait
#all nepo baby actors should be required to hit on their parent's work bf in front of their parent #to prove themselves
I’m about to have a fun afternoon.
So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.
She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.
This should make for an interesting story.
So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That’s what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I’m very proud to say, this ended without violence.
Arrival:
So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”
Retrieval:
So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.
Delivery:
So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. chipoltle?” And we all got burrito bowls.
What a great day.
I was thinking about this story for no reason and decided I should grace you all with it again.
by the way, for people who don't understand what the issue with "delulu" is, let me put it this way. i know a kid who uses delulu in day to day speech to refer to her crushes, or her favorite fictional ships, or other people liking things she doesn't. this is common. one day, she found out from an ex friend of mine that i used to honestly believe i was the second coming of jesus christ. when she asked me about it, i told her it was a delusion. she said "honey, you're not delusional, you're straight up insane." if non-psychotics take "delusional" and make it mean anything less than what it does mean, it leaves us with no word less than insane, or nuts, or crazy.
Some of Van Gogh’s best work was done during a period of his life that he spent in a hospital being treated for his mental health problems. I could be wrong but I think Starry Night was among those.
This is consistently the case. Creators tend to do their best work when they are in a healthy place and receiving proper treatment and not being self destructive in their efforts to cope. Go figure.
All our experiences, good and bad, inform what we create, but suffering is not the price of great art. Suffering is what prevents artists from completing great art.